How to understand that a man is infantile. An infantile man: how to recognize and is it possible to re-educate? Strong bond with mother

Infantilism is a real curse of modern man, preventing him from living normally in this world. But it's still half the trouble! There is another variety of this condition - characterized by unwillingness to take responsibility, preferring to remain a child, inability to solve complex life problems and childishness.

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READ ALSO: 10 Signs Your Man Is Destroying You

So what to do if you come across such an infantile and irresponsible male specimen? WANT.ua will help you, well, or at least understand that you don’t need this likeness of a man at all.

DO NOT PLAY BABY

Oksana's story from Krasnodar:
“When I played “daughter-mother” with my beloved and almost wiped his snot, he was an irresponsible “child” who could not make a decision on his own and live a normal life. As soon as I stopped presenting everything to him on a silver platter, I realized that I needed to grow up, take my life into my own hands and become independent.

Advice: Stop following him everywhere, picking up scattered socks, reminding him to brush his teeth before going to bed, asking about the degree of satiety ... He is no longer a little boy and can take care of himself.

ALL POWER TO THE MAN

The story of Inga from Berdyansk:
“My Valera could not get rid of his childish spontaneity and. I always decided everything, did everything and never burdened him with requests. She could even hammer a nail into the wall herself, if only her beloved did not overwork. But the day “X” came and I realized that I simply spoiled him, because looking at the husbands of my friends, I understood that real men should take power into their own hands. And then I decided to let him feel like a real man and give all the power for our family into his strong male hands. It worked - Valera became more purposeful, ambitious and independent. Now I understand what it means to feel like behind a stone wall!

Advice: Let him take responsibility for himself and you, ask him for advice. Even if you think that he is so relaxed that he is not capable of anything - do not give him slack. Look for those areas where he can, give good advice and finally become a man, and not a muslin young lady. After all, he can’t be so infantile as not to understand at least in some area.

ABSTRACT

The story of Christina from Volgograd:
“When my faithful finally became insolent and dangled his legs from my fragile neck, I decided that enough was enough for me! He constantly whined that he couldn’t find a job, that I didn’t give him money and didn’t let him drink beer with friends in the evenings. Why? Why should I do everything? And despite the fact that he did not work, he did not want to help me around the house. When it dawned on me that it was impossible to live like this and that I was still young and beautiful to support an adult kid, I decided to ignore him and his “childish” problems. When I stopped giving him pocket money, cooking dinner, reminding him to pack his socks around the apartment or simply clean up his plate, I suddenly noticed that my beloved had changed! He started going to interviews, courting me like in the old days, bringing me and taking me on dates. I felt like a fragile princess and realized that it was necessary to do this to him a long time ago!

Advice: Do not give him pocket money, do not look after him, do not take an interest in his affairs and do not indulge his whims. Feed him the same food. Someday he will get tired of this state of affairs, he will get a job and start thinking about the future.

PRAISE

The story of Daria from Nikolaev:
“I, like some girls, were “lucky” to meet an irresponsible infantile, with whom I fell head over heels in love. From love, I did not notice his shortcomings, but when we began to live together, my eyes were opened. I realized who I chose and with whom I have to live. I decided to fight his infantilism, but I did not want to use cruel methods, because he is touchy with me. I found an approach that is praise. No matter how strange it may sound, even an infantile loafer needs to be praised sometimes. I managed to make a more independent and hard-working man out of my favorite loafer. I did not disdain praise and gave him compliments even for small things. Thanks to my praise, he gained confidence and strength, many complexes collapsed!

Advice: To save a man from a complex, you should constantly repeat to him that he will succeed. Praise him for any successful business and any manifestation of initiative. Perhaps he will like to be your support and protector, and he will begin to move. In no case do not belittle his dignity and do not try to criticize any manifestation of independence. Otherwise, he will completely lose the desire to do anything and you will do everything for him until the end of your days.

PARTNERSHIPS

History of Elizabeth from Voronezh:
“My man was irresponsible until I adjusted our relationship to a partnership. I explained to him that I was his wife, not his mother, and that both partners should work on the relationship, not just one. Apparently, his case of infantilism was not so neglected and he understood everything. We began to work on the relationship together, without shifting responsibility on each other and without blaming each other.

Advice: If your relationship is dominated by the “mother and son” model, this should be eradicated. Teach him that now you will have real partnerships, where you will be responsible for each other. You must support each other, share responsibility, help with advice, and jointly cope with adversity and problems.

WOMAN'S CLICK

History of Anna from Kiev:
“Women must be cunning, weak and fragile! Having understood this simple truth, I pretended to be such a helpless and weak girl who often needs the help of her beloved. At first, he grumbled and didn't want to do anything, but then he liked to feel like a strong man."

Advice: Never carry heavy shopping bags yourself, never screw in a light bulb, never hammer a nail into a wall, assemble furniture, cut meat, open cans, or fix plumbing. No, we don’t want to belittle you and we don’t even doubt that you can sort out the engine, change the wheel, the wiring, the mixer, or lay the laminate yourself. Just hand over the reins in these matters to a man and you will see positive results.

If not one option could not save him from infantilism - make a decision and part with him. Believe me, you won’t have to expect anything worthwhile from such an instance, and all your life you will take care of it, and it will sit on your neck.

Men with the character of a child are also found in nature. An infantile man first brings a lot of problems to his mother, then, if there is such a woman who agrees to become his wife, to his wife. Life with an infantile person is difficult, he does not want to delve into family problems, does not want to take the initiative at work. He is quite satisfied with living at the expense of his parents or a woman. But this is not always evident, and women often "catch the hook" of such representatives of the stronger sex. How to recognize such an individual, how does he give himself away, what is infantilism? It is worth considering these issues in more detail.

Signs of infantilism in a man

This type of character is socially immature. Other signs of an infantile male are as follows:

1. . Lack of moral satisfaction from their work. Such a man drags on for years, constantly complaining about his dissatisfaction, but does not take any action to find another job.
2. . Such men very much and colorfully promise changes in life, but in reality everything remains the same. Such a person can make an appointment with a girl and not show up, subsequently coming up with various excuses for his behavior.
3. An infantile man constantly maintains contact with his mother, calls her on any issue, and conducts correspondence. No step is taken without her knowledge.
4. It will be difficult for a woman to build relationships with such a man, since he does not hesitate to demonstrate his helplessness in business and inability to understand life issues.
5. An infantile person is one who tries to find a girlfriend in life comparable to his mother, and his relationship is often built on the principle of "mother and son." He expects that such a woman will take on all the hardships of family life, and he will play the role of a husband-son.

How does infantilism occur?

According to the results of research by Australian psychologists, an infantile man is any representative of the stronger sex who does not want to take on the duties of the head of the family and prefers that all important issues be resolved without his participation. There are 27% of such men, and this is a lot.

There are several reasons for such irresponsible children's behavior:

Cons and pros

But despite all the visible disadvantages, this type of guys can have their pluses. It is worth listing the disadvantages of this genotype again:

1. A guy or a man is not able to answer for his actions.
2. Unsuitability, immaturity in everyday life.
3. Inability to cope with problems, including the financial plan.
4. A man puts himself above all else or blames everyone around for his failures, but at the same time does not take any action to change the situation.
5. Sexual problems, they are expressed in restraint, lack of initiative, childishness, frequent change of partners, or obsession with one's own person.
6. The behavior characteristic of children's relationships is selfishness, resentment, capriciousness, narcissism.

Infantile men can have a number of advantages:

1. A man does not dwell on his problems, life is easy and carefree.
2. Knows how to enjoy life.
3. Often such men speak and reason beautifully.
4. They are immediate.
5. Compliant in everyday life.
6. No stranger to romance.
7. Their actions may be spontaneous.
8. Children love them.
9. They have creativity and ingenuity.

What kind of woman is suitable for an infantile man? The answer is obvious - a woman-mother, able to take most of family problems into your own hands. How to behave with such a representative of the stronger sex? It is necessary to tune in to the fact that this is a big child, you need to take care of him, endure his whims, solve his problems, groom and cherish. If a man is dear to you, while he is completely dependent on his mother, consults with her on every occasion, waits for her approval, play a double game, become her ally, only in this case your partner will be completely subject to you.

A teenage man with an infantile character tends to find a partner who, against his background, will look like a silly fool. He will not tolerate whims and insults, since these traits are inherent in him.

If you are not satisfied with this behavior of your partner, then you can try to change something, the following tips will help you with this:

1. You should not play along with your companion, he will behave with you like a child, remain in his childhood as long as you allow him to do so.
2. Don't take on the role of a mother. But at the same time, you should not resolve the issue in adult ways, shouting, reproaching, scandals - this will only comprehend his childish behavior. Better pay attention to yourself - develop your femininity, tenderness and sexuality.
3. Do not immediately solve men's problems. This is a man's business. At first it will be difficult and done clumsily, nevertheless, it is worth waiting out this period.
4. Seem weak, let the man himself solve family issues. Don't take the initiative.
5. First, entrust him with responsibility in small things, then gradually he will begin to solve more global problems.

What to expect from a life together

Many are satisfied with such relationships, a woman can take the initiative in everything and not see a protest from a man. But at the same time, you should not wait for her partner to get into a fight for his chosen one. Connecting your life with an infantile man, be prepared for a mother-son relationship: either you will get a young man, shy and lack of initiative, or a teenage rebel striving for freedom in everything. In the first case, you will be able to create a strong family with him, in the second case there will be constant skirmishes against the backdrop of the latter's love of freedom and the desire to subordinate everything to his own rules.

In special moments, you will be delighted with such a partner, sometimes he is romantic, can have interesting conversations, dream. An infantile male child will strive to please you in everything, will help in household chores, listen to you unquestioningly.

But with any difficulty, he will also seek protection from you. Your advice will be important to him, and it is best if you solve the problem yourself without his participation.

Criticism in your direction from his mother will be taken calmly, without pretensions. If you speak out about it, then excuses or reproaches will begin.

Such a man will not defend you or anyone if he hears rudeness or other unsightly behavior. In intimate terms, such men are waiting for initiative from their partner. His caresses are mundane and uninitiated.

As a parent, such a man also cannot always take place. Instead of raising and caring for small children with you, he will begin to compete with them for your love and attention. At times, you may notice irritation and even anger in his eyes towards the child.

Under what conditions can harmony be achieved in relations with an infantile type man

A woman should be satisfied with the following relationships, only then the long-awaited harmony will come in the family:

1. If the partner is used to feeling like a "man in a skirt."
2. You are used to deciding everything for everyone, and that suits you.
3. You are loving and will not deprive your husband or children of your inattention.
4. You are ready to give freedom to your teenage husband.
5. If you are not touched by the shortcomings of your partner, namely narcissism, the habit of blaming everyone for your failures, being critical of everything, arrogance and coldness in expressing feelings, gambling, alcohol or other similar things, touchiness, etc.
6. If you are able to earn money yourself and it does not bother you.

Life with an infantile man is difficult, but it has positive sides. You should not put your partner on your neck: gradually set him up to think that he is the head of the family and should be responsible for some questions. You may soon see gratitude in your husband's eyes, but don't expect quick results. It may happen that it will not be possible to eradicate the signs of infantilism in a man.

Who is such an infantile man and why is he afraid to grow up?

You can often hear complaints from women that in modern world there are a lot of men who behave like children and strive in every possible way to shift responsibility onto women's shoulders.

Description of the infantile man

Indeed, in men, infantilism is manifested in a persistent unwillingness to take on obligations, to be responsible for their actions, to make decisions. At first, such an infantile guy can delight, because he brings a holiday to the relationship. But with a closer acquaintance, a woman begins to understand that this person is extremely irresponsible and this is annoying.

Following tenderness comes anger and disappointment. Very often, infantile men are found among alcoholics - such people cannot even take responsibility for their own lives, not to mention someone else. Why do men remain infantile?

Causes of infantilism

Inhibition in emotional and social development is due to various reasons. This may be a congenital pathology of the brain or a consequence of improper upbringing in the family. The main and most common social causes of infantilism include the following:

• overprotection in childhood;
• pressure from parents;
• excessive adoration;
• quarrels of parents with a child.

Overprotection in childhood

Parents do not allow the child to take a single step on their own, they do not even accept the thought that he may have his own view of some things. Out of the best intentions, they try to protect the offspring from making mistakes, trying to instill in him that a smart person should learn from other people's mistakes. The other side of the coin is the desire to realize their unfulfilled dreams in the face of a child. Mom as a child could not enter a music school and certainly wants her son to become a famous musician. In the future, this will give her the opportunity to be proud of him. The father did not have a sports career, and he sends his son to big sport for the same reasons, although the child is not interested or even harmful

Pressure from parents

In this case, the child constantly hears reproaches and accusations addressed to him that he is a worthless person, incapable of anything. In the course are constant comparisons with more talented and diligent classmates or the children of their friends. “Sveta Ivanova has a son, but I don’t!” “Everyone has children, like children, and only you alone are God’s punishment!” “I have never met a more lazy and slutty person in my life!” Gradually, the will and feelings of the child are suppressed, he ceases to think independently and enters adulthood as a little boy in the body of an adult man. No decision is made by an infantile man without the permission of his parents.

excessive adoration

The boy is cherished and cherished, he knows no refusal in anything, at the first request he receives everything that he wants. At the same time, if a child wants to help with something, he is not allowed to do so. Why wash the dishes or take out the trash? A common opinion of many mothers who are madly in love with their sons: “A real man should not take care of his clothes himself, iron shirts and trousers - all this should be done first by his mother, and later by his wife.” Such an attitude from childhood inspires the boy that he is the “navel of the earth” and, unlike many, absolutely everything is allowed to him. As a result, even in old age, he remains infantile.

Parents' quarrels with a child

Another reason why a person who has matured physically remains infantile is the frequent quarrels between parents in the presence of a boy. Being in constant emotional stress from high-profile scandals, the child withdraws into himself, invents his own fairy-tale world, where there are no quarrels, swearing, everyone loves each other and life is one big holiday.

Often in such families, children begin to blame themselves for everything that happens. In the future, this self-flagellation turns into relationships at work, in society. An adult and at the same time an infantile person is afraid to express his opinion, constantly waiting for approval from the outside. He accepts any troubles in life at his own expense.

signs

Having met a man and deciding to get to know him better, to understand whether he is infantile, some features in his behavior will help. The following things can say about the immaturity of the chosen one:

• egocentrism;
• consumer behavior in the family circle;
• gambling addiction;
• shifting responsibility;
• with a knife to the throat.

Egocentrism

The guy believes that the whole world should revolve around him. He perceives those around him as tools to achieve his goals and never for a moment thinks that they may have feelings and their own plans.

Consumer behavior in the family circle

Such a man gives all his best at work, but behaves like a king with his family. Everyone should please him, take care of him. It's enough for him that he goes to work. Household duties are not for him. At the same time, he prefers to spend his earnings only on himself.

gambling addiction

Infantile men often leave reality for a parallel virtual world. Computer games, expensive gadgets, periodic upgrades - these are the urgent needs for which they spend money to the detriment of the family.

Shifting Responsibility

An infantile person is afraid to make a decision on his own, prefers that all problems "resolve" without his participation. Talking about responsibility and duty makes him mad. All issues should be decided by anyone, but not him. It can be parents, friends or spouse.

With a knife to my throat

If an infantile person gets something into his head, regardless of persons and circumstances, he must receive it here and now. Otherwise, his discontent can be expressed in violent behavior, screaming, leaving home, blackmail.

Very often, infantile people commit acts, the results of which then suffer. Nevertheless, bitter experience does not teach them anything, and they step on the same rake again and again.

Infantile man in a relationship

The most striking example male infantilism- inability to make decisions. If such a man even marries, then all the initiative and responsibility for making decisions will lie with the spouse. Next to such a man, only a strong-willed woman, accustomed to command, can feel comfortable. The second option for an ideal couple for an infantile man is a mother woman.

Relationship with a girl

In communication with girlfriends, an infantile guy will pursue only his own interests. He doesn't care how his girlfriend feels. The main thing is to get another toy, and as soon as possible, as in childhood. When you get tired of playing - get rid of it and become interested in a new one. A long and lasting relationship implies responsibility, which the Infant tries to avoid by any means, therefore most of all these oversized children are found among male ladies' men.

Despite such immaturity in emotional terms, infantile men are very aware of all the intricacies of female nature. They can turn everything into a fairy tale, intrigue, charm, and then disappear.

At work

Most often in a working environment, infantile people manifest themselves as weak-willed indifferent creatures. They never take the initiative, fearing to be punished, and strictly follow all the instructions of their superiors. If suddenly the immediate supervisor forgot to give the command to action, the infantile worker will sit and wait until he is told what to do.

On the other hand, they do not tolerate even the slightest criticism addressed to them. In this case, courage may appear - an infantile person will be rude to his superiors and leave, slamming the door loudly, without thinking about the consequences. Such people are not afraid to lose their jobs, because there is a mother and father or a wife who will not let them die of hunger and will solve all problems.

With family and friends

Infantilism prevents a person from building relationships with people, whether they are colleagues, friends or relatives. No matter what happens, it's never his fault. He was forced, he was poorly brought up, something was not explained to him or explained insufficiently intelligibly.

An infantile man is very dependent on the opinions of others. Every action he takes needs approval. If someone disagrees with him in some way or condemns his behavior or point of view, he withdraws into himself and begins to quietly hate the whole world.

Such behavior indicates that this person completely lacks an idea of ​​\u200b\u200bhimself. Whether he is good or bad - he cannot decide for himself, his opinion about his personality is made up of the opinions of others.

It is interesting. Even if an infantile man starts a family, the parental home for him will be a priori. He is ready at any moment to escape under the wing of his mother, whether it be her request or demand, or problems in his own family.

How to stop being an infantile man

Infantilism is very poorly combined with the appearance of an adult man. People around an emotionally immature person are treated without respect, do not take him seriously. It is very difficult for such a person to get along in a team, to find a permanent job and relationships. To adapt to life and feel confident, you need to grow up. The advice of a psychologist will help in this.

How to correct behavior and start living, 8 recommendations for working on yourself.

1. Try to look at yourself from the outside and see what others see. Identify your weaknesses and start working on them.
2. Highlight the most exciting life aspects. Try to clearly form your system of principles and not deviate from it. As an example to follow, you can choose some famous person, study her biography and begin to build your "I" in the image and likeness of your idol.
3. Try to constantly expand your horizons. Read more, find hobbies to your liking, get busy. Properly organized leisure makes life brighter and more interesting. Take up a hobby in an area that is closer in spirit.
4. Learn to analyze the actions and words of others - this will help you treat them adequately. You can't believe everything you hear - how many people, so many opinions, and everyone is right in their own way. In order not to rush from side to side, you need to form your own opinion on all issues. Remember: infantile people are often used. Do not let anyone control your life - everyone has one and there will be no other. Learn to say the word "no" but don't forget the word "should" at the same time.
5. Learn not to throw words to the wind. Before you promise something to someone, think about whether you can fulfill the promise. Otherwise, don't be afraid to say no. It’s better to say “no” right away than to hide and make excuses later, or take a defensive position and justify your actions with the shortcomings of those who were promised something, but did not fulfill it, because only infantile people behave like this.
6. Learn to express your point of view and substantiate it with proven facts. State your thoughts logically. Acquire skills not only to speak, but also to listen to the opinions of others.
7. Learn to admit your mistakes and respond appropriately to constructive criticism. Infantile people are distinguished by donkey stubbornness, and this does not honor anyone, even a girl and, especially, a man.
8. Learn to control your emotions. Count to ten before answering any question or making a decision. The same must be done in emergency situations.

Raise a real strong man in you. Perhaps in some life situations it is easier to be infantile, but at this moment it is worth thinking about the fact that parents are not eternal, and a wife or girlfriend is not an insensitive robot. Every woman dreams of having a strong shoulder next to her.

In psychology, the concept of infantilism is characterized by the preservation in a person's behavior and in his attitude to life of the characteristics of the psycho-emotional state of the child.

Recognizing such a man is easy. It differs:

• egocentrism, expressed in full confidence in his rightness, irresistibility and the feeling that everyone around should fulfill his desires;
• irresponsibility (an infantile person does not like to make decisions, does not take responsibility, tries to shift everything onto other people's shoulders, he lives by satisfying needs in the here and now, does not think about tomorrow at all);
• inability to take care of other people (the priority is always one's own desires with a complete absence of thoughts about how this will affect others);
• lack of independence (he does not want to delve into issues and do what is needed, for example, he does not know how to pay for an apartment, top up his phone, he cannot change his rights or passport, and so on);
• inability to adequate self-esteem. Such a man does not know how to analyze his own actions and evaluate himself, his behavior, based on objective realities - everyone around is to blame, but he is not in business.

What to do if your man is an infantile?

Most often, infantile men are taken as husbands by strong and self-confident women who do not tolerate objections and control their own lives and the lives of their loved ones. About such a couple, we can say that they found each other. The wife plays the role of a mother, and the husband allows himself to be looked after, washed, stroked, fed and taken care of in every possible way.

But what if you want to make a real man out of your chosen one? Then here's how to proceed:

• you need to be patient and slowly get rid of the roles of "man" and "mom". Allow yourself to be just a weak woman who likes to be looked after and pampered. This is a plus of an infantile man, he is romantic and knows how to surprise;
• stop giving orders! Do not do for a man what lies in his area of ​​\u200b\u200bresponsibility - you need to let him act independently;
• create conditions for the manifestation of this independence, for example, ask to cook dinner, because you will be late at work, at the same time buy some easily prepared semi-finished products and show him where they are;
• delegate some of the household tasks: entrust your husband with paying utility bills, motivate him to do it with the fear of power outages and the Internet - because of which he will not be able to play his favorite games;
• specify the boundaries of personal space: let's say that personal clothing is his area of ​​​​responsibility. From now on, do not show your husband where socks, ties, shirts are, do not pick up scattered things. Just calmly wait for him to put them in the washing machine himself (here you have to be patient);
• periodically demonstrate your helplessness and ask to do something that you “probably can’t handle” because you are a weak woman. Let him be your hero and savior;
• be sure to praise the independence of a man, do not be stingy: make a happy face and express immense gratitude, but you must not lie. If something frankly did not work out, then it is better to thank for the efforts.

Understand a simple truth: a family is two halves of one whole, and they are always balanced. Therefore, when the wife assumes the functions of a man, the husband becomes more feminine in his behavior. But as soon as you move on to the scenario of a weak woman, the partner begins to show masculine qualities.

Modern men are increasingly throwing off the burden of responsibility and tearing the fetters of life obligations. Iron knights without fear and reproach turn into playing boys who did not hold anything heavier than a computer mouse in their hands.

Sociologists see nothing unusual in this gender warming. It's just that life has become easier and more fun, the strong half of humanity has relaxed and shown its true face - the eternal child. But women have long sounded the alarm. After all, the infantile men who have been thrown off their duties are shifted onto the shoulders of the weaker sex.

The expression: “The strength of a woman is in her weakness” is no longer relevant today. Some infantile girls put up with their shortcomings and even learn to use them usefully in the household. And those who are not yet ready to take on the male watch are looking for answers to the questions: “How to recognize an infantile man on initial stage acquaintances in order to save himself from the plight of his companion? Fortunately, this is easy to do.

What psychologists say

In psychology, the term "infantilism" came from the French language. "Infant" is translated as "child" or "prince". This is a 100% hit in the term, because infantile men behave like capricious children and heirs to the throne at the same time. In psychology, the concept of "infantilism" is characterized as an immature type of personality, in which the psycho-emotional features of the child do not disappear with age.

Origins of the problem

Psychologists consider the mistakes of upbringing to be the main reasons for the formation of infantile inclinations in a man. Parents, most often mothers, unwittingly create a program that creates a complex of infantility. Situations can be different, for example:

• The boy is brought up by a domineering woman. Such mothers suppress the masculine qualities inherent in their son. Rigidly ordering that the child “do not indulge”, “keep silent”, “do not run”, they destroy activity and freedom of choice in him in the bud. In the future, the young man is afraid to do something on his own, because the subconscious mind is dominated by the setting: "Initiative is punishable."
• Growing up in an incomplete family without a father. Naturally, not seeing an example of a strong hand in front of him, the boy copies female behaviors. He simply did not understand and did not recognize, how is it: to be courageous, to provide for a family, to protect the weak?
• The only child in the family. The little prince is subjected to excessive guardianship from relatives: they take him everywhere by the hand, escort him to school almost to adulthood, fill him up with toys and gifts, fulfill the slightest wishes. Who will grow out of such a spoiled boy? A complete sissy who will look at his wife as a servant. After all, he is used to getting everything on a silver platter at the first snap of a finger.

If the circumstances in which a man was brought up are familiar, it is already possible to make an assumption about his infantilism.

External signs of an infantile man

If there is no information about the guy’s family, just look at him carefully. A real expert can recognize an infantile person in a crowd without resorting to complex methods of psychoanalysis.

Take a look, for example, at a well-groomed bearded man - he looks brutal, but for some reason a playful ponytail sticks out on top of his head. Many infantiles prefer teenage style in clothes. Trousers tight-fitting or with a collar. Sorry, but such masculine words as "pants" will simply be inappropriate here.

On the head is a beanie cap - a little thing that gives touchingness even to guys who look like Nikolai Valuev. On the feet - sneakers made of multi-colored plastic. Further more. Boys who have not matured yet ride around on a hoverboard, catch Pokemon on the street, smoke vapors of electronic cigarettes. Adult men play children or do boys "mow" under their uncle? It's hard to recognize.

Another type of infantile man dresses too foppishly, in the style of an English dandy. Checkered vest, trendy cardigan, neckerchief, tweed cap. But if a true gentleman strictly observes the edge of the dress code, then the infantile looks like a discharged teenager.

In general, eternal teenagers retain a youthful appearance for a long time. Lifestyle naturally affects appearance: the more worries, the more severe the look and the deeper the wrinkles. You can immediately recognize that such a person is burdened with a load of difficult problems. Infantile men are different: there are democratic sneakers on their feet, a minimum of wrinkles on their faces, an inexpressible lightness of being in their eyes.

Infantile personality traits

Of course, external signs are clearly not enough to recognize the immature type of male personality. A much more serious assessment can be made by examining the psychological portrait of such a guy. It is worth paying attention to the following character traits:

• Dependence on mother

Everyone loves Mom. However, this is a completely different story, which psychologists often compare with an unbroken umbilical cord. Mom infantile - the most-most. She is well versed in matters of her son's personal life, in his work, money and other important matters. This main person in his life does not lose importance as he grows up. Sometimes even her girlfriend is not able to compete with her. As a rule, authoritative mothers themselves tend not to let go of their already adult child at a distance. Therefore, such guys do not marry for a long time or remain bachelors for life.

• Disclaimer

An infantile man never feels guilt or remorse for what he has done. Anyone is wrong, but not him. In the service, he is underestimated by a strict boss, and narrow-minded colleagues build malicious intrigues. At home - grumpy neighbors are pestering him for leaving garbage in the stairwell. On the street, a car splashes with mud, not because he crosses the street at a red light, but because a penny is driving. The boy runs away from worries in life: he changes his girlfriends, occupations, place of residence. That's just to recognize an infantile man in himself and he is not able to change. It is much easier to shirk responsibility in any way.

• Lack of stable income

A man who does not have a legal wife and children can well afford to be content with temporary work, receiving only the necessary minimum. You can recognize such a guy by unwillingness to work hard. He prefers odd jobs or sitting on the neck of his parents.

• Optional

An infantile man does not like to be responsible for his words. Like a child, he can promise anything to get a reward. And with the same childish spontaneity, forget about this obligation the next day.

• Inability to manage a personal budget

Money is of momentary value to such a guy. If he gets a certain amount at his disposal, he is able to instantly spend everything on a fancy gadget or any whim.

The paradox is that society regards an adult male as bearing full responsibility for his actions. The concept of "infantility" is not officially fixed. Such people can play casinos, take loans with draconian interest, make deals and sign property agreements.

These are the best clients of financial pyramids, unscrupulous dealers and swindlers of all stripes, who recognize them with a professional eye in a jiffy. By impulsive action, they are able to destroy a career, make a hefty gap in the family budget. But anyone will be responsible for these ill-conceived actions, but not an infantile guy. This immature baby has long been playing with toys in another sandbox.

• Failure to care for family and friends

Moms raising immature men should think about who will take care of them in old age? After all, an infantile person is not even able to solve his own problems, and he is not at all capable of taking care of his parents or children.

• lack of independence

Surely you have seen a picture when a mother chooses clothes for her adult son, goes to the doctor with him, draws up documents. A good example of this behavior is given in the movie Where is Nophelet? There, mom and dad went on a date with their son and girl, taking army binoculars with them.

• Rivalry with children

Such a guy can seriously compete with younger brothers and sisters for the best piece of the pie, a window seat in the car, or the attention of his mother. Children are children.

Among other features of an infantile man, one can note egocentrism, capriciousness, daydreaming, impressionability and disregard for public interests.

• Inability to adequately assess their actions

Even if you give such a guy a lecture on infantilism, he is unlikely to recognize in himself his typical representative. After all, this would mean admitting his guilt, and he is not capable of that.

It is impossible to recognize an infantile comrade only by one of the above signs. For an accurate assessment, a combination of at least 2-3 of these factors is required.

Infantile men in a relationship

You can not deny such a guy the presence of good qualities. He is childishly touching, sensitive, romantic. It is this attractive set that can charm girls at the beginning of an acquaintance. Many husbands present their lawful halves with bouquets only on their birthdays and March 8th. Infantile can fill up the chosen one with flowers and gifts. It does not matter that he spent the last money on it or even borrowed it from friends.

If he is in a great mood, he will cut out a million hearts and shower his beloved on Valentine's Day. He will order a song on the radio, write a sentimental rhyme, ride a bicycle, jump from a bungee. There is no doubt that in a relationship with such a romantically inclined boy, you are provided with a fair amount of drive and positive. Until you recognize him as an infantile creature. None of the real masculine virtues is hidden behind external exalted actions.

He will not be able to grow out of short pants. Will not learn to make informed decisions. Doesn't distance herself from her bossy mom. Do not get rid of an expensive hobby or bad habit. Will not be wealthy. Will not stop whims and tantrums. If your love is so strong that it does not allow you to recognize all the delights of life with an eternal boy, as they say, God help you. Nurse your health!

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